I want to be more like my nine year old.
Easton Wade Miller. He’s oh so far away from that 6 pound 12 ounce little baby that I held in my arms on the evening of March 15, 2005. He is almost 5 feet tall and weighs nearly 100 pounds now. He wears a size twelve. Yes he is a big boy, but what amazes me most is how big his heart is.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a mother of one of Easton’s friends and she said to me, “Easton is such a good friend. He really is such a good, caring friend.” She said it so sincerely and the way she locked eyes with me then said those words so passionately as if she was speaking them into my soul, kept somehow replaying in my mind as I reflected on Easton’s upcoming birthday. “Easton is a good friend. He really is such a good, caring friend.” For some reason I kept recalling it over and over and it made me think about him. It made me think about his heart, his character, his soul. It made me think about who HE really is, not what he likes to play or what he likes to wear or what his favorite food is or what his favorite video games are. Sure, those are all fun facts that I might want to remember about him at nine years old, but it is funny how someone’s words made me reflect on my son and suddenly all of those things seemed so very insignificant. Because without a doubt, the most beautiful part of this nine year old boy is his heart.
He is gentle. His brother attacks him all the time and even though he is 3 times his size and he could annihilate him, he always chooses to only protect himself. He will never retaliate or inflict harm on him. It is seriously so bad that I finally had to have a talk with him and say “Easton, if your brother is hitting and kicking you, take him to the ground and put a stop to it!” I have waited and expected it to happen, but it never does. He is a gentle giant. He reminds me of his D-dad in this way.
He is a caretaker. Many mornings I will wake up and he and his brother are already awake. If that is the case, Easton will have poured him a bowl of cereal, wrapped his favorite blanket around him to keep him warm and poured him a glass of orange juice.
He cares about others more than he cares about himself. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard him say “No, that’s ok mom. He can have it.” or “It’s alright mom, we can eat at whatever restaurant they want.” His first instinct is to think about others, not about himself. On the weekends, he and Cohen wake up at the crack of dawn. As I said before, Easton will often pour Cohen some cereal and a big glass of orange juice but what he does after that amazes me. They go in the living room and Easton turns on whatever Cohen’s favorite show is. He is the oldest. He is the biggest. Cohen can’t operate the tv without him. He could watch whatever he wanted and Cohen could do nothing about it. Instead, he chooses to watch what Cohen’s favorite show is first.
He is a giver. A few weeks ago I wasn’t feeling well. Easton was so observant and concerned about my needs even though I had no idea. When his dad got home from work he went directly to him and said, “Dad, I’m worried about mom. She’s not herself.” When Michael asked him why he said that, he told him that he noticed for two days in a row after we got home from school that I had laid down on the couch to take a rest. He said, “That’s not like mom. She’s always up cooking our dinner, helping us with homework, and just ya know…doing stuff.” Bless his little heart. He cares so much. He notices. He has a heart for helping others. Not long after that conversation, I found him with a mop and he was mopping the floors all by himself just because he wanted to help.
He speaks only kind words. After this mom told me about what a good friend she thought Easton was, I somehow was hit with the thought “Easton NEVER says an unkind or negative word about anyone.” I racked my brain trying to think about a time he had griped about someone…a friend, a teammate, a brother or a sister. I came up with nothing. I thought, “Surely there had to be a time when he said something negative about someone.” I thought longer and harder and still came up with nothing. I asked his dad if he could remember Easton saying something negative or unkind about anyone. Nothing. This is a character trait that truly amazes me. He sees only the best in others. If he does have a negative or unkind thought, he chooses to keep it to himself.
He prays. Sure he says his bedtime prayers but that isn’t enough for this kid. He wants to pray after a basketball game that he lost. He wants to pray for his teammates because they seemed sad and distraught at the loss. He wants to pray for the children that we support through Compassion International. He wants to pray for them by name. He wants to pray for me when I am sick or having a bad day. What makes me prouder than anything though, is how he wants to pray for forgiveness. He will initiate it. He will tell me he wants to ask for forgiveness for something. Then he will take me in the room and shut the door and hold my hand and pray with me. He initiates it all. He blows me away.
The truth of the matter is that as I sit here bawling, I feel completely undeserving of this child. I ask myself, “What have I done to deserve him? Why did God give him to me?” I don’t know the answer. I don’t think it is anything that I did right as a mother. I just think it’s who HE is. It is the way God created him. A gentle giant. He is kind, sensitive, giving, thoughtful, caring, chooses to speak only words of kindness about others, and isn’t afraid to ask for forgiveness. I want to have a heart like his. He is an inspiration to me. He challenges me. He makes me want to be better.
I want to be like my nine year old.
